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In today’s fast-paced world, we often feel disconnected. From ourselves, from others, and from life itself. The Resonance of Being offers a way back, not through effort or mindfulness, but by deeply feeling and inhabiting our own body.

What Is the Resonance of Being?

The Resonance of Being is the natural hum of life within us. It’s not something we create or achieve, it’s already there. It’s the feeling of being fully alive and present, not just in our minds but in our whole being.

Unlike mindfulness, which often involves stepping back and observing, resonance is about fully experiencing life from within. It’s the difference between watching a fire from a distance and feeling its warmth on your skin. It’s about being, not just noticing.

How Resonance Connects Us to Others

When we fully inhabit ourselves, we naturally connect with others in a deeper way. True presence isn’t something we force, instead of performing or analysing, we meet others from a place of wholeness, making our interactions more authentic and meaningful.

Polyvagal Theory and the Resonance of Being

The Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, helps us understand how our nervous system affects our ability to connect, feel safe, and experience resonance. When we are in a regulated state, our vagus nerve supports a sense of safety and connection, allowing us to feel at home in our bodies. This is the foundation for deep presence and resonance.

When we feel safe and supported, our ventral vagal system is engaged, promoting calmness, openness, and connection. This is when we can fully inhabit our being.

When we experience stress or disconnection, we may shift into fight-or-flight (sympathetic activation) or shutdown (dorsal vagal state), making it harder to feel resonance.

By practicing deep embodiment we naturally regulate our nervous system and return to a state where resonance is possible.

The Realization Process aligns with Polyvagal Theory by helping us inhabit the body with openness and presence, fostering nervous system regulation and deep connection to ourselves and others.

Living from Resonance

When we live in resonance, life feels more fluid and connected. Instead of pushing through, we move with ease. This is not a special state, it’s our natural way of being. It’s what we knew as children, before we learned to separate ourselves from life.

To be fully human isn’t about watching life, it’s about feeling deeply connected to it. When we stop seeking presence and start living as presence, we rediscover our true nature. And in that, we find not only ourselves but each other, fully, openly, and unmistakably alive.

The search for wholeness and fulfilment often drives us outward, into the world of achievements, possessions, and relationships, as we strive to fill an inner longing. Yet, no matter how much we attain, true peace continues to elude us. This is because lasting fulfilment cannot be found outside of ourselves. It resides within, a profound stillness at the very core of our being. This stillness is always present, but it is often hidden beneath layers of thoughts, emotions, and the protective patterns of the body and mind, which arise from past experiences.

By gently turning our attention inward, we begin to uncover this stillness, a peace that is unshakable, timeless, and whole. This stillness is the foundation of who we are, a presence that transcends the transient, connecting us to a vast oneness that permeates all existence. In spiritual traditions, it is often called Buddha-nature, the Self, or fundamental consciousness, representing the unchanging essence that exists beneath all external appearances.

Awakening to this truth is not just a transformation of the mind but a holistic shift that engages the entire being. When we release the trauma-based tensions and deeply ingrained patterns that restrict the body and mind, we open the door to radical healing and profound transformation. These patterns, often formed as protective mechanisms, can soften and dissolve as we step into the spaciousness of our true nature.

In embracing this stillness and the expansive freedom it brings, we align ourselves with the vastness of our being. Here, life flows naturally, with grace and harmony. From this deep connection with ourselves, the inherent qualities of our essence: love, joy, strength, and clarity, begin to emerge. These are not qualities we need to acquire; they are intrinsic to our being, waiting to be uncovered and lived.

In this awakened state, we feel a profound sense of wholeness. We are grounded, at peace, and fully at home within ourselves. This inner alignment allows us to form authentic and meaningful connections with others and the world around us, all while remaining rooted in our truth.

Through this process of inner discovery and embodiment, we begin to experience the fullness and depth of what it means to be human. We recognise that life is not a destination but a journey of unfolding into our true essence. While the journey may require courage, patience, and dedication, it is one of extraordinary beauty and purpose, a journey that brings us into alignment with the deepest truth of who we are and the boundless richness of life itself.

For example, if you feel sadness and you don't try to resist or suppress it, the feeling will register vividly in your awareness and then naturally dissipate. However, there are times when we try to avoid the feeling of sadness, and we unintentionally block the flow of our emotions by tightening our bodies and energy.

This is when the resistance traps the emotion in our bodies. When we prevent the emotion from flowing freely, the holding pattern can become chronic, creating rigidity in our being.  Especially if it becomes a familiar pattern.  This rigidity limits our ability to fully feel emotions, and it also acts as a barrier between ourselves and others.

The sadness that is held in this way can colour our entire experience, making life always seem a little sad. On the other hand, if we simply allow ourselves to experience life as it is in each moment, there is a much smoother flow.

As a Senior Teacher in the Realization Process, I’ve found that the more I practice, the more I naturally experience the effortless flow of life. Let me explain: The body can be perceived in different ways—as physical matter, as energy, or as stillness. The most subtle experience of the body is stillness, and we can learn to attune to this deeper dimension of our being. Even if you do not sense it now, that doesn’t mean it isn’t present.

The more I connect with this subtle level of being, the more naturally I settle into this dimension of life. Thoughts, emotions, physiological processes, and external circumstances all move through this underlying stillness. Through practice, we learn to open ourselves to both the deep stillness and the dynamic flow of life simultaneously.

For instance, when I meditate and the postman knocks at the door, it doesn't disturb me. I just get up, answer the door, and return to my meditation without any disruption.

It wasn’t until I read a quote in one of Dr. Judith Blackstone’s books recently that the penny dropped and I fully understood the concept: “The more we attune to and become that stillness available to all of us, the more the movement of life happens without obstruction, resistance, or distortion.”

Rather than experiencing this stillness just while I meditate, it is gradually becoming a way of life.

Anxiety is more than just an emotion; it is often a physical pattern held in the body. This tension commonly gathers in areas such as the diaphragm, neck, shoulders, and chest, creating a sensation of "up and forward" movement and affecting breathing. This posture serves as a protective mechanism to suppress overwhelming emotions, many of which are rooted in early childhood experiences when we felt vulnerable and unsafe.

These emotions can feel intense and even life-threatening because they tap into the perspective of a younger, less-resourced self. However, these sensations are echoes of past experiences held in the body. When we begin to recognise anxiety as a stored physiological response rather than an immediate threat, we create space for healing. Awareness is the first step in shifting these deep-seated patterns.

Healing comes when we meet these patterns with gentleness and care. By bringing tender breath, focused attention, and a felt sense of safety to these held tensions, we can begin to soften and release them. As this happens, the "up and forward" motion of anxiety can settle into a "back and down" posture, signalling relaxation and grounding.

One powerful method for achieving this shift is through the Realization Process, a meditative approach that facilitates deep embodiment and inner connection. Developed by Judith Blackstone, the Realization Process guides individuals to inhabit their bodies fully, allowing them to contact the subtle holding patterns that contribute to anxiety. By moving awareness inward and recognising the space within the body, we can gently unwind these contractions and foster a sense of openness and wholeness. This process helps us experience ourselves beyond the constraints of past conditioning, making room for a more balanced, present, and authentic way of being.

Meditation, in general, also plays a crucial role in alleviating anxiety. Regular practice allows us to observe thoughts and emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. Mindfulness meditation, for example, trains us to witness our anxious patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. As we develop this inner awareness, we become less identified with our anxious states and more rooted in the present moment. Breathing exercises, body scans, and visualisation techniques can all aid in calming the nervous system and reinforcing a sense of internal stability.

Through a combination of mindfulness, breathwork, and embodiment practices like the Realization Process, we can begin to unwind the physical and emotional imprints of anxiety. This process of softening and release allows for deep healing. It helps dissolve long-held patterns, paving the way for radical transformation and a greater sense of wholeness and well-being. By cultivating inner spaciousness and reconnecting with our true nature, we shift from merely coping with anxiety to genuinely healing from it, allowing us to experience life with greater ease, presence, and authenticity.

This is where I can help. I guide you to connect with that inner sense of safety, an experience that can profoundly shift how you feel about yourself. It’s remarkable how discovering this inner security can create the perfect foundation for transforming feelings of lack and insecurity.

While talking about self-worth, exploring its roots, or learning techniques to manage those feelings can be helpful, they often fall short of bringing lasting change. True transformation happens when you experience safety within yourself.

Why Self-Worth Feels So Fragile

Many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. These emotions often stem from past experiences, societal pressures, or deeply ingrained beliefs about what it means to be “enough.” If you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your worth through achievements, relationships, or external validation, you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: self-worth is not something you need to prove. It’s something you can rediscover within yourself.

The Key to Transforming Low Self-Worth

A common misconception is that improving self-worth is about thinking more positively or achieving more. While external success can provide temporary confidence, it doesn’t create lasting change. Real transformation happens when you feel safe within yourself, when you trust that your value is inherent and unshakable.

Without this internal foundation, self-worth remains fragile, dependent on outside circumstances. But when you develop inner safety, you cultivate a resilience that allows you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence.

What Is Inner Safety?

Inner safety is a sense of deep trust in yourself. It’s the feeling that you are okay, no matter what happens. It’s knowing that even when challenges arise, you are still whole, still valuable, still enough.

This isn’t about suppressing difficult emotions. Instead, it’s about learning to hold them with compassion, so they no longer define your sense of self. When you feel safe within, self-doubt loses its grip on you.

How to Cultivate Inner Safety

Developing inner safety is a journey, but it’s one that leads to profound growth. Here are some ways to begin:

1. Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one. When negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them without self-judgement.
2. Ground Yourself in the Present – Mindfulness, deep breathing, and body awareness exercises can help you feel more stable and secure.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel – Instead of pushing emotions away, allow them to exist without resistance. The more you embrace your feelings, the less power they have over you.
4. Reflect on Your Resilience – Remind yourself of times when you’ve overcome challenges. Recognising your own strength reinforces self-trust.
5. Seek Support When Needed – Sometimes, having a guide can make the process easier. Working with someone who understands this journey can help you access inner safety more effectively.

You Are Worthy Just as You Are

If you’ve spent years struggling with low self-worth, it’s understandable to feel hesitant about change. But you don’t have to stay stuck in patterns of self-doubt and insecurity. When you develop inner safety, you create a foundation that supports lasting self-worth.

If this approach speaks to you, I’d love to help you explore it further. Contact me directly, and let’s begin this journey together. You deserve to feel secure, worthy, and at peace within yourself.

How often do we pause to reflect on moments of contentment, love, happiness, or joy? In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to overlook these feelings, letting them slip through our fingers as we move from one task to another. I know I haven’t always made time for that in my own life. More often than not, my mind has been preoccupied with worries, responsibilities, and self-criticism. It’s easy to dwell on sadness, loss, or anxiety - or even to feel regret over small, seemingly insignificant things, like eating that extra piece of cake or saying something we wish we hadn’t. Somehow, being hard on ourselves feels easier, doesn’t it? We often focus on what we could improve or change. While reflection can certainly help with that, what if we tried something different?

Let’s switch tactics.

Close your eyes and think about a time when you felt truly content, or filled with love or happiness. Maybe it was a quiet morning with a cup of coffee, the sun streaming through your window. Perhaps it was a heartfelt conversation with a friend, laughter bubbling between you. Or maybe it was a moment of stillness, standing by the ocean, feeling the waves wash over your feet. Try to bring that moment to life in your mind. Who was there? Where were you? What could you see, smell, or hear? Engage all of your senses as you recall the memory.

Now, gently set the memory aside and focus on the feeling of contentment in your body. What does it feel like - not as a thought, but as a sensation? This might take some practice. We often stay in our heads, thinking about emotions rather than truly feeling them in our bodies. Try to drop out of your thinking mind and notice where in your body you experience that sense of contentment. Is it a warmth in your chest? A lightness in your stomach? A sense of ease in your shoulders?

Once you’ve located the feeling, use your breath to nurture and expand it. As you inhale, imagine that feeling growing stronger, spreading gently through your body. As you exhale, release any tension or resistance, allowing yourself to settle into the sensation. With each breath, let the feeling deepen and expand. See if you can extend it to other parts of your body, letting one part teach the rest to experience that sensation.

Keep going until the feeling fills your whole body. Let it flow through you like a wave, washing over every muscle, every cell, every inch of your being. And as you breathe, allow yourself to fully experience that sense of contentment throughout your entire self.

This practice doesn’t have to take long. Just a few minutes each day can help you reconnect with the feeling of contentment or joy in your body. Over time, it can become a powerful resource, grounding you in the present moment and helping you navigate life with greater ease and presence.

So why not make this a daily habit? Take a moment to pause, breathe, and feel. The more you practice, the easier it will be to access this sense of well-being whenever you need it. And if you’d like to explore more practices like this, feel free to reach out - I’d love to guide you on your journey to deeper connection and well-being.